So, this lifestyle I have chosen is a fairly radical departure from my norm. I lived in the same house, by myself, for 27 years. I didn’t like to stray far from home toilet, and showered every night before bed. I like to be clean before retiring for the night. I had lots of stuff in my house. I liked having lots of stuff. If I wanted to work on a project, odds are I already had most of the stuff I needed. And tools. I love tools. Some for their utility, some just for their beauty, and the ingenuity and craftsmanship that went into creating them. I’m also not what you might call a people person. People, in general, vex me. I am a creature of habit and change is bad.
Why would such a person choose to sell 99% of his possessions, including the house that contained his beloved water bed and home toilet, and buy a van to live in? I slept in that water bed for 27 years. That thing was amazing. Slept like a baby in it. Now the bladder is in a landfill, and the frame in a burn pile awaiting its transformation into smoke and ash. Perhaps a fitting send off. For the frame, not the bladder. Bladder, I wish I could have done better by you. Anyway, back to the question at hand. What was I thinking? Am I addled, gone soft in the head? Perhaps I suffered a sharp blow to the head. No, to the last one anyway. I’ve lead a rather pointless life, free from any real responsibilities. The route I’ve taken is not the usual, accepted one. Find a mate, procreate, raise and mold the next generation. For various reasons, I didn’t take that path. But I always had work. Work was my life. I considered myself capable at my chosen profession. I like working with my hands, like seeing things created. The last 10 years or so, I found I had less and less patience for the people I worked with and around. Critical thinking, common sense and perseverance seem to be traits found in less and less people. I could moan ad naseum on the subject, but that’s enough for now. I hadn’t worked for about a year, finding the bureaucracy of my last job, for a local town government, distasteful. I had no desire to lead a construction crew, nor manual labor. Equipment operation is enjoyable for short stints, but I get bored. As I was pondering what to do, I assessed my situation and found the current state unappealing. I had no desire to work a 9 to 5 job in the least. I could continue to sit around the house until my money ran out, but that made little sense. Perhaps some change was in order, as I was quite fed up with the status quo. Maybe a change of scenery would be beneficial, although Colorado is my favorite spot in the world. If I just moved, I had the same issues, but in a different place. Not helpful. I haven’t traveled extensively, I no longer fly, but I enjoyed the road trips I have taken. Maybe it would do me good to literally get out of the house and see what’s going on around me. Take in the sights and people the country has to offer. Maybe pare down my life a bit, get rid of all the superfluous stuff. Nobody is depending on me for anything, so there really are no limits. The desire for change had been present for a while, but the final solution of buying a van and living in it was a bit spur of the moment.
How do I feel about me decision now? It’s only been a few days that I’ve been on the road, and the first night as I was sitting in the van at Ocotillo Wells listening to all the bikes and buggies tear around the landscape, I had a mini panic attack. Was this what I proposed to do with my life, what am I going to do all day, every day? It all sounded good during the planning stage, but I’m going to go insane, if I am not already. What was I thinking? So, I sat down and had a talk with myself. Listen, dumbass, this is the first day. How about we actually slow down, see what we see, and take this day by day? There is a lot to see out here, and a lot of people to meet. So, quit being an unsociable jerk, let’s see some stuff and meet some people. Ok, I can do that.
How long will this lifestyle last? I haven’t the slightest idea. I think I’ll bum around for a while, maybe look for the occasional gig or some way to generate a bit of money along the way.
It’s been 4 days since I’ve showered, and I’m ok with that.